Princess Papulaís Royal Decree by Carmelita Lee

 

Iím not sure Iíd like the hassle

That went with living in a castle

Cause you know, no elevators,

Large, deep moats and alligators,

getting lost in passageways,

and finding ghosts in galleyways

cold and drafty, unlit rooms

and boring, wasted afternoons

speaking Latin with buffoons

embroidíring tapestry on looms,

wear the same dress every day

sleep on pillows stuffed with hay

peeiní in a chamber pot

in a place that time forgot

then marrying an inbred prince

whoíll get my whole inheritance?

 

Nah.

 

I just want a ranch-style place,

central heating, private space,

three up, two down, and ceiling fans,

and entertainment on demand,

a pool out back and hot tub too,

screened patio and barbecue,

no staff, no guards, no big intrigue

no protocol, just Little League

a comfy office where I can work

and first names with the postal clerk,

a pickup truck in my garage

standing appointment for massage

and internet with video cams

and being caught in traffic jams

gimme five-star comforts all the way

thatís all this princess wants to say

oh, and I chose the man I married

and heíll get to pay until Iím buried Ö

 

the only place Iíll be a queen

is in the house I have to clean

the only crown Iíll ever wear,

the dandelions in my hair.

 

Doon Castle , June 2006